After I went through some difficult times as a university graduate (which I wrote about in my “Graduating from School to Life” blog posts, Part 1 and Part 2), I decided I needed time to work on myself and I started to learn about topics that would improve my well-being. One of the first concepts I immersed myself in was self-care. In the simplest sense, self-care means to take care of yourself. It’s something we’re usually taught from a young age in terms of eating habits, hygiene, and exercise. But through my awakening to this topic, I’ve realized self-care goes much deeper. It’s about taking deliberate control of your wellbeing, listening to what your body and mind needs, and sometimes it even means putting yourself first. This may seem selfish and self-centred, and I know at first it definitely seemed that way to me. But I’ve realized that when we take care of ourselves, we become more able to take care of others. Over the past couple years, I’ve learned a lot about my relationship to self-care and how important it is for me to include it in my life.
Self-care is sold to us in many forms. I’ll admit that my self-care includes things that cost money, sometimes significant amounts, too. But it’s important to realize that we don’t always need to buy things to practice self-care, and our self-care practice doesn’t start with spending money. Self-care starts with self-awareness. I believe that if you’re not aware of what you enjoy, what you need, and how to recognize how your body and mind feel at any given time, you won’t be able to take care of yourself as effectively as you can.
To start implementing self-care into your life, it’s important to consider those three aspects of self-awareness: knowing what you enjoy, what you need, and how to recognize how your body and mind feel. Let’s start with knowing what you enjoy. What activities, places, things, or people bring you happiness? What do you like to do in your free time? What lights you up? Personally, I enjoy reading, listening to podcasts, writing, watching TV shows and movies, eating good food, soaking in a warm bath, listening to music, exploring new places, and spending time with the people I love. All of these things bring me joy, usually brighten my day, and increase my feeling of wellbeing. Everything you enjoy is self-care simply because experiencing things that make you happy ultimately makes you feel better. It’s all medicine for your soul.
So now that you’ve considered what you enjoy, think about what you need. As a human being, you most likely need the basics like food, water, and sleep. But as an individual, what else do you need in your life in order to take care of yourself? Think about not just physical needs, but also emotional and mental needs. I’m an introvert, so I need alone time to recharge and reconnect with myself away from the noise of the world. If I don’t do that, my wellbeing suffers. I also deal with anxiety and depression, so I need to pay attention to my emotions and moods to take care of my mental health. If I let myself spiral into my worries and fears and negative thoughts, without trying to understand why I feel that way or what I could try to do to feel better, my wellbeing suffers. I’ve also learned that sometimes, I need to put myself first. It’s taken me awhile to really believe in this need, because just like self-care in general, it seemed selfish at first. But now I know if I don’t feel good within myself, I can’t do any good for others. I think it’s important to recognize what you need and stand up for it instead of push it away. Once our needs are met, our potential to do good for ourselves and others rises significantly.
The last thing to consider when it comes to self-awareness is learning how to recognize how your mind and body feel at any given time. This may seem simple because it’s something we’re taught from a young age. But when you were a child, chances are when you felt sad or you hurt yourself on the playground or you were just really hungry, you turned to others (most likely adults) to help you resolve the issue. As we get older, we become more capable of responding to how our body and mind feels and giving ourselves what we need depending on the situation. Of course that doesn’t mean we’re no longer allowed to ask for help. In fact, it’s often important to ask for help and not force yourself to go through everything on your own. In terms of self-care, recognizing how your mind and body feel is the important first step to giving yourself what you want and/or need. It’s about listening to yourself and unapologetically fulfilling your desires. When I feel stressed, overwhelmed, or frustrated with a certain task, or just life in general, my mind starts reeling and my body becomes tense. I get caught up in my anxiety and the negative thoughts affect how I feel in my body. When this happens, I know I need to step away from whatever I’m doing and give myself time to sort through my thoughts, relax, and maybe even distract myself with a different task, one that makes me feel happy. To me, this is the most important part of my self-care. It has taken me awhile to get to a point where I allow myself the time and space to listen and attend to my mind and body in an unapologetic way. I still have times where I struggle with it, especially when I think I should be helping other people or accomplishing a certain task first. But I’ve realized the importance of recognizing my own worth in order to give myself what I need and want.
An issue that often takes me away from self-care is the concept of “should”. In terms of self-care, it’s so important to ignore that voice in our head telling us what we “should” be doing. Often, ignoring the “should” is an act of self-care in itself. If I think I should go to the gym because I haven’t worked out in a while, but I’m feeling tired and don’t feel like being around people and would rather stay in and catch up on some TV shows, opting to stay home is self-care. This may seem like avoidance, and sometimes you do need to push yourself to do things you don’t always want to do. But in that situation, I recognize that going to the gym is just not something I’m up for in that moment, and staying home would make me feel better. We don’t always need to choose the most practical, healthy, or sensible option. What’s beautiful about self-care is that it gives you the freedom of choice. You can choose what makes you feel good and happy and fulfilled. And that sometimes means ignoring what you feel like you “should” be doing in favour of what you actually want to do.
Self-care starts with self-awareness, but even before that, it starts with you. You decide how you want to take care of yourself. Of course, there are basic things we as humans need to incorporate in our lives to maintain our overall health and to stay alive. But besides that, self-care is all about you and what you enjoy, what you need, and how your body and mind feel. Once you establish an understanding of your self-awareness, self-care will come naturally.
what do you think?