It can often be too easy to get caught up in negative thinking and let your negative thoughts ruin a moment, your day, or even your whole outlook on life. Negative thoughts can show up as being critical of yourself, having a negative view of how others may see you, jumping to the worst possible conclusions, having a pessimistic view of the future, and getting caught up in a negative mental mindset. When you live with a mental health issue like anxiety or depression, these thoughts can be even more overwhelming and feel impossible to handle.
I’ve had my fair share of negative thoughts. Because of my anxiety, going through these thinking patterns is sometimes a daily occurrence. In my worst moments, my negative thoughts control me, take me away from living in the moment, and put a dark cloud over everything. It’s a very difficult experience to go through, and for most of my life I just didn’t know how to handle it.
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I still deal with negative thoughts, but I’ve found ways to cope. Through the help of counselling, self-reflection, and some experimenting, I’ve come up with a step-by-step process to help deal with my negative thinking. I’ve realized it’s all about shifting your mindset, which can be a difficult thing to do, but has some very powerful and positive effects.
If you also deal with negative thoughts and want to learn how to deal with them, read on for a five step method to stop your negative thoughts.
1. Become an observer of your thoughts.
In order to stop your negative thoughts, the first step is to learn how to disconnect from them. Simply recognize that they’re there and don’t feel shame or guilt for having them. Be an observer. I like to picture my negative thoughts floating above and away from me. Disconnecting in this way allows you to take a step back and objectively observe your thoughts, and will prevent you from getting caught up in them. Free yourself from those negative thoughts and just let them be.
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2. Remind yourself that your thoughts do not define you.
Once you’ve become an observer of your thoughts, it’ll be easier to convince yourself that your thoughts do not define you. You are not your thoughts. They are simply something that is happening to you. Because of how overwhelming and all-encompassing negative thoughts can be, it’s often easy to let them take over your sense of self. But once you disconnect from these thoughts and remind yourself that they do not define you, you’ll be well on your way to shifting the power dynamic between you and your negative thoughts.
3. Take the power away from these thoughts.
The first two steps will help you realize that when negative thoughts come up, you have the control. These thoughts may seem powerful and it might feel impossible to see any alternative to them, but the key is to take away their validation and any sense of truth. To do that, simply label these thoughts as unhelpful, extreme, even trivial and silly. This will help you convince yourself that these thoughts are not true, and weaken the hold they have on you. It won’t always be easy to do, but this step is essential if you want to stop negative thoughts from taking over your mindset and your life.
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4. Talk to yourself kindly.
Negative thoughts are ruthless and cruel, and can make you be very unkind to yourself. Fight against those urges to put yourself down and instead lift yourself up by being kind to yourself. I like to think of it this way: all the mean and negative things you say to yourself, would you say those same things to someone you love? If the answer is no, then cut those thoughts out of your mind. Talk to yourself like you’re your best friend. Ditch the critical and cruel for more encouraging and supportive language. The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself, so you might as well be kind and caring. This mindset shift will help kick those negative thoughts far away.
5. Look at the bigger picture.
Negative thoughts can lead you to believe the worst of the present moment and the future, and leave you with a pessimistic view of life. But if you’re able to successfully lead yourself through all of the above steps, you’ll be more able to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Negative thoughts are overwhelming, but really, their impact doesn’t have much long-term sustainability. In the grand scheme of your life, they don’t have that much power. When you’re trying to free yourself of a particular negative thought, ask yourself if what this thought is referring to will matter a few days from now, a week from now, or even a year from now. Looking at the bigger picture of life will help you see how small and insignificant your negative thoughts actually are. This will take away their importance, and help you get rid of them once and for all.
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Negative thoughts can seem overwhelming and impossible to erase from your mind, but there are ways to cope. With a little practice, self-reflection, and a commitment to caring for your mental health, you’ll be more able to stop those negative thoughts when they come up. Try these five steps and maybe come up with a few of your own, too! Do whatever works for you so you can free yourself from your negative thoughts and replace them with better ones.
what do you think?