8 Ways to Deal With Difficult Emotions

Whether you struggle with mental health or not, chances are you will experience difficult emotions at some point in your life. Difficult emotions can show up as stress, worry, fear, anger, anxiety, sadness, shame, guilt, frustration, depression…the list goes on. When these emotions arise, they can often feel overwhelming and hard to handle. In the past, my difficult emotions have prevented me from doing certain things, significantly decreased my self-worth, and ultimately took control of me. It’s not fun, it’s exhausting, and when you’re really stuck in the grip of these difficult emotions, it’s almost impossible to see a way out.

I’ve discovered that one of the keys to dealing with these emotions is to resist the urge to suppress them or run away from them. Whenever I can, I try to sit with these emotions, listen to them, and learn from them. This is definitely not an easy thing to do. But when you start to shift your mindset about difficult emotions, it slowly becomes easier to deal with them. Your difficult emotions are going to show up whether you like it or not, so it’s important that you figure out some strategies that work for you to help you cope. Let’s explore eight ways to deal with difficult emotions.  

1.Don’t be ashamed of the way you feel

Shame itself is a difficult emotion, so if you start to feel ashamed about the way you’re feeling, you’re headed for a whole other mess. Shame is a vicious emotion and probably one of the most difficult to deal with. In my worst moments, I fall into a spiral of shame. I start beating myself up for feeling sad or stressed or anxious, because I really do have a great life and have so much to be thankful for, so why on earth do I feel this way? I shouldn’t feel depressed or worried or afraid because a lot of people are way worse off than me and I should always be thankful. I tell myself I’m weak and ungrateful and unworthy. This way of thinking is no help at all when dealing with difficult emotions. It just makes everything worse. No matter what your situation is in life, you are allowed to feel the way you do. It’s easy to feel ashamed of your difficult emotions, but think of them as simply another emotion. You are entitled to all of your feelings, no matter what they are. 

2. Separate yourself from these emotions and observe them.

I’ve found this strategy to be quite hard to do, especially when you’re stuck in a strong current of difficult emotions. But when these emotions come up, try your best to separate yourself from them. View them as if they are apart from you. Become the observer of your emotions. It might sound a little strange, but literally picture your emotions floating above you.  When you separate yourself like this, you may find it easier to evaluate the difficult emotions more objectively.

3. Take a moment to find a sense of calm.

To do this, try tapping into some mindfulness techniques, like mindful breathing, tuning into your senses, and grounding yourself in the present moment. (Check out A Basic Guide to Mindfulness and 5 Simple Mindfulness Activities for your Daily Life for some ideas). Do whatever works for you so you can bring a sense of calm to your mind, body, and soul. I know from experience that finding a sense of calm when difficult emotions are trying to cause chaos isn’t easy. But the more you practice these techniques, the easier they will become.

4. Listen to your thoughts.

Hear what your thoughts have to say. And don’t let them control you. You control your thoughts and the effect they have on you. When dealing with difficult emotions, it’s particularly easy to let your thoughts overwhelm you. You then might try to resist them, or give into them, but the most helpful thing you can do is take a moment to listen to them. Once you’ve given these difficult thoughts a moment of your time, you may find it easier to let them go.

5. Try to understand what triggered the emotions.

When you’re caught up in your difficult emotions, it’s easy to lose sight of what actually got you to that place. Try to take a moment to reflect on what happened to trigger the emotions you’re feeling. This might allow you to separate yourself from the heat of the moment and gain a little perspective on the situation. When you practice this, you’ll become more self-aware and more able to recognize and even prevent situations that trigger your difficult emotions.  

6. Take the power back from your emotions.

Remind yourself that you are in control. Difficult emotions may feel powerful, but you are always more powerful. It’s important to try to embrace and accept all of your emotions, but when that isn’t working out, sometimes you just have to be a little more aggressive. Don’t let your difficult emotions ruin your whole day or week or month. Give them a moment, but that’s it. This can be tough, especially if you’re going through a difficult situation in life that triggers these emotions on a regular basis. But always remind yourself of your strength and power. As hard as it is, you have to pick yourself up and find your unbeatable strength so that you can show these emotions who’s the boss.  

7. Let it all out.

I find that often the best thing to do is to let yourself feel your difficult emotions and just let it all out. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re angry, scream. Let your emotions course through your body and allow yourself to react exactly the way you want to. Of course, you should never let these emotions become a danger to yourself or anybody else. But within reason, it’s totally okay to feel and react the way you want to. When I get caught up in my difficult emotions, I tend to have breakdowns that range from a few moments of crying to full-body reactions that leave me weak and on the floor. I’ve had some really bad breakdowns, and usually when I try to resist letting out my emotions, the breakdown lasts longer and feels more painful. When I allow myself to cry and scream and do whatever else my body needs in that moment, it’s still painful, but I find myself coming to the end of the breakdown faster. It’s like the emotions physically leave my body, all because I allow myself to let them run their course. This strategy can take a lot out of you physically and emotionally, so try it with caution at first. But from my own experience, it’s an effective way to deal with and rid yourself of difficult emotions. 

8. Be patient with yourself.

None of this is easy. Believe me, I know. It takes practice, practice, and more practice to deal with your difficult emotions effectively. Don’t feel bad about yourself if you try a certain strategy and it doesn’t work for you right away. Try it again, or try something else. It’ll take some trial and error before you discover what works for you when dealing with difficult emotions. Trust the process, and give yourself a little kindness and patience.

These are just some of the strategies you can use when dealing with difficult emotions. Try them out and maybe think of some different methods, too. And always remind yourself of how strong, capable, and powerful you are. Difficult emotions ain’t got nothing on you.

emotionsmental healthmental health management