Whether you’re finishing high school, university, or college, graduation is a pretty big deal. It’s the culmination of all your years of work, the end of your school life and the beginning of your adult life. Graduation is a chance to say goodbye to one chapter of your life so you can start writing the next.
Graduation comes with a lot of excitement and celebration, but it can also bring fear and uncertainty. When I graduated from university, I felt so accomplished and proud of myself. In a lot of ways, I was ready to leave school behind and charge ahead into the rest of my life. But in more ways, I was scared out of my mind, I had no idea what I was going to do next, and I felt farther from my goals and myself than ever. If you haven’t already, check out my Graduating from School to Life posts, Part 1 and Part 2, for more about the struggle and success I experienced after graduation.
Looking back, there are so many things I wish I knew then that I know now. Of course, I don’t have everything figured out and I still feel like I’m stumbling through life trying to find my footing. But in the two years since I graduated, I’ve experienced more personal growth than I ever did throughout my seventeen years in school. I’ve learned eye-opening lessons outside of the classroom that have taught me so much about life, the world around me, and myself.
If you’re planning on graduating in the near future, you recently became a graduate, or it’s been a few years since you graduated, this post is for you. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I’ve been where you are now, and as exciting as it was, it was also really tough. I’m not claiming to have it all figured out, but I’ll share with you some of the key things I have learned since I graduated. I hope you’ll find some comfort in these words as you embark on the next phase of your journey.
First of all, you deserve to be congratulated. So, congratulations! Graduating is a huge accomplishment and I hope you’re proud of yourself. Acknowledge your achievements and all the experiences you went through to bring yourself to where you are today. It was hard work, so you deserve to appreciate and enjoy all the celebration surrounding you.
But eventually, your cap and gown will be put away, your diploma will be hung on display, and the celebrations will come to an end. Then it’ll be time to close that chapter, hold dearly to the memories, and face the next step in your life. Maybe you know what that step is. Maybe you have a clear plan in place and you’re ready to dive in and see what’s in store for you when you start working at that new job, go back to school to get another degree, or take time to travel and see the world. If this is you, I hope you find so much happiness and success in everything that you do next.
But maybe this isn’t you. Maybe you don’t have a plan and you’re feeling confused, aimless, and intimidated. Maybe you’ve gone through months of rejection letters and failed attempts. Maybe you honestly have no idea what the heck you’re doing and you feel ashamed because of that. If this is you, I know it’s difficult and you feel alone and you don’t know if you’ll ever figure out how to live life outside of school, but I’m telling you, it’s okay. It may not always be easy, but it’s going to be okay. And I hope by the end of this post, you won’t just be reading these words; you’ll be believing them, too.
Your life after graduation, and all through your twenties, will be full of new experiences. These experiences will be positive and negative, exciting and difficult. They’ll fill you up and tear you down. They’ll make you question what you want from life and bring you closer to discovering who you really are. Life after graduation won’t be easy, but it has the potential to be so rewarding.
There are a few difficult experiences you’re likely to face soon after graduation. When you start applying to jobs or internships, you may get rejection letter after rejection letter, or not hear back at all. You may have a pile of student loan debt draining your bank account. Maybe the friends you made in school, the ones you thought would be around forever, will start to fade out of your life. You might find yourself sucked into social media for hours on end, comparing your post-grad life to other graduates’ highlight reels. And amongst all of this, you might start to question your worth, your abilities, and what you really want from life. I’ve experienced all of these things, and I know there’s no magical way to get through any of it. Honestly, two years after my own graduation, I’m still trying to find my way. I’m not an expert on any of this, and your experience may be different than mine, but there are a few things I’ve learned in the past two years that I think every graduate and young adult needs to know.
It’s okay to change your mind and choose a path you hadn’t planned to take.
You may think changing your mind about the kind of job you want means that all the time and money you spent on your degree was a waste, but that’s not true. Every phase in your life leads you to the next in some way, and no experience goes to waste. You might also feel pressured to stick with the field you studied for because of the expectations you think others have of you. This is a tough thing to push aside, but in order for you to be happy, you need to focus on what you want and not what others want for you. It’s your life, your decisions, and while it’s nice to have the support and approval of the people in your life, you’re in control. The people who truly love you will support you no matter what. So feel free to change your mind and experiment with different options as much as you want. There’s a world of possibilities out there for you.
Everyone goes through life at their own pace, so stop comparing yourself to others.
This is something I really struggle with myself, and I’ve figured out the hard way how detrimental the comparison game can be to your mental health and how you view yourself. Just because you’re the same age as someone doesn’t mean you have to be going through phases of life at the same time. I know some people my age are starting their careers, engaged, married, buying houses, having kids, and getting their Masters and PhD degrees, and I know other people my age are still living with their parents, finishing their undergraduate degrees, single, dating, and travelling the world. Not one situation is better or more admirable than another. Instead of obsessing over what other people are doing, focus on yourself, where you’re at in life, and where you want to be. Your life will look a whole lot better if you focus on living it instead of comparing it to others.
Take this time to experience and live your life instead of rushing into what you think is expected of you.
School took up a lot of your time, so if you’re not working a full-time job after you graduate, use that free time to focus on yourself. Do the things you want to do that you didn’t always have time to do when you were in school. There’s no rule that you absolutely have to dive straight into full-time work right after you graduate. If you’re able to do that and that’s what you want, that’s great! But if you’re unsure of what you want, or aren’t having much luck finding a job, don’t spend your time feeling sorry for yourself. I did way too much of that, and it caused a lot of stress and depression. Instead, use this free time to do the things you want to do, experience the things you’ve wanted to experience, and live your life before the responsibilities of adulthood make it more difficult to do those things.
The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself.
After graduation, make time to nurture this relationship, invest in yourself, and discover who you are. Your twenties is a ripe time for personal growth and self-development because of all the changes that come with transitioning to adulthood. Intentionally use your time and experiences to create a better understanding and relationship with yourself. I truly believe that before you can do any good in the world, you must learn how to do good within yourself first. If you cultivate a strong sense of self, you’ll be more equipped to show up and conquer whatever life throws at you.
Take your time and figure out what you really want from life.
I know it’s scary and stressful and you just want all the answers right now, but be patient. Don’t let this phase of your life pass you by. No matter how long it takes or how much uncertainty you face, you’ll eventually find your way.
The past two years for me have included some of the most difficult and transformative moments of my life. It hasn’t been easy and it still isn’t easy. I’ll admit, I’m not where I thought I’d be at in this point of my life. When I first started university, I had very different ideas about what my life would look like after graduation. But I’ve realized that isn’t such a bad thing. Yes I’ve gone through setbacks and difficult times, but I’ve also created stronger goals and become more aligned with what I really want my life to look like.
So if you’re a graduate, or you’ll soon become one, I want you to know that it’s okay to not have everything figured out just yet. There is not one set path for you; there are many different options in front of you, and you have the power to choose. It’s okay to feel lost, confused, and scared. It’s also okay to feel excited, motivated, and inspired. Feel the emotions that you need to feel, work towards fulfilling your small and big goals, dreams, and desires, and create a strong relationship with yourself. And above all else, live your life on your terms.
Like me, after graduation you may find yourself stumbling along a winding path with no idea where you’re going. But trust me, there will come a time when you’ll catch yourself, stand a little taller, and find your way towards something amazing.
2 COMMENTS
DD
5 years ago
great advice!
Shealyn Ivany
5 years ago
AUTHORThank you! 🙂